So you’re the best man or the maid of honor at your best friend’s wedding, and you managed to get past the ceremony without losing the wedding jewelry. You’re not out of the woods yet. As a best man or maid of honor, you have the privilege of presenting a speech at the reception. The expectations for this speech are high since it pays tribute to the couple on their wedding day, which is undoubtedly one of the most important days of their lives. While you might feel panicky or nervous, you can craft a thoughtful, eloquent speech by following a few basic tips.

Avoid Juvenile Humor and X-rated References
While some humorous references throughout your speech are fine and can make the speech more personal, avoid telling embarrassing stories or acting as if the speech itself is a joke. Refrain from telling any racy stories about the wedding couple or inappropriate jokes about the honeymoon. Remember that all ages might be present at the wedding and keep the speech G-rated. A combination of sincerity and light-heartedness can set the right tone. Make sure you are sober and pulled-together before giving your toast. If you are not a natural comedian, keep the speech honest and thoughtful.

Prepare and Practice
Write the speech at least 3 weeks before the ceremony so that you will have plenty of time to practice and refine it. Make several drafts of your speech and edit it carefully to ensure the final product is touching and special without being excessively wordy. You will want to give the speech from memory so having plenty of time to practice is key to a well-planned presentation.

Keep It Short and Sweet
The toast is not an area to ramble on or to tell the entire story of your relationship with the bride or groom. The best speeches are sincere and concise, and quickly over so that you can give the toast and move on with wedding festivities.

Stick to the Basics
While personal anecdotes are key to your speech, make sure you include the traditional information wedding guests expect from a Best Man/Maid of Honor speech.

• Introduce yourself and let guests know what your relationship is to the bride and groom.
• Thank the guests and parents for being part of the couple’s special day.
• Tell a brief story about the bride and groom, including observations about them as a couple. The story of how they met would make a nice element to this story as would a story about an important moment in their relationship.
• Praise the virtues of the bride (Matron of Honor) or groom (Best Man), letting everybody know what makes them a great person and why they are so important to you.
• Offer the couple some marital advice; this is a good area to include any wedding quotes you elect to use.
• Ask guests to raise their glasses and toast “Mr. and Mrs. Jane Doe”.